Kicking off my third trimester with the twins got me thinking about the roller coaster of emotions that come with pregnancy and life in general…specifically fear. The most common fears: fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of the unknown, have not phased me much. Not that I haven’t been in some gnarly situations but there have only been a handful of times where fear has stopped me in my tracks. Pregnancy was one of those times.
When we decided we wanted to start trying to have a family with our first son it went something like this in my head: What if I can’t get pregnant? 1st trimester- I’m afraid I might have a miscarriage. 2nd trimester- is he growing OK? Does he have 10 fingers and 10 toes? 3rd trimester- will he make it out OK? The second time around those fears haven’t been quite as powerful since I’ve been through it before but they still lurk around and there is the added new twist of twins.
If you let it, fear can paralyze you and prevent you from living the life that is possible. At some point encountering fear is inevitable and when it happens to me (approaching delivering twins) I remind myself of an acronym for F.E.A.R. – False Evidence Appearing Real. I’m sure many of you have heard this before. I use this acronym to dissect what is going on in my head and 100% of the time end up realizing that I am creating a frenzy over something that isn’t even close to being fact. I also think back to the hardest thing I’ve gone through and remind myself that if I made it through that, I can make it through this.
Life is too short to drown in fear and there is also an unexpected bonus of facing fear….when you get past it, it’s such an empowering and great feeling. So I’m thinking maybe we should go for triplets next? Totally kidding!